I want to look happy—maybe more than I want to be happy

These days, it feels like the moment of sharing comes even before the moment of feeling.
Before I sip my coffee at a cute café, I take a picture. When I’m somewhere beautiful with a friend, I post a story first. And when someone replies, “Where is this place?”—suddenly, the memory feels even more special.

But was I truly happy in that moment?
Or does it only feel complete once someone sees it, reacts to it, and validates it?

That quiet beach I wanted to keep to myself,
That tiny restaurant that surprised me with how good it was...
Once I post about them, they become something to be judged—
by likes, by comments, by strangers I’ve never met.

And sometimes, I feel my own joy shift just because someone else didn’t feel the same.

So lately,
I find myself wondering:
Do I share things because I’m genuinely happy and want to express it?
Or do I want to look happy, and use the post to convince myself that I am?

What about you?
When you share something,
is it already your happiness?
Or are you waiting for someone else’s reaction to make it feel real?

– Luda